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How a HR (Human Resource) guy writes love letter

 

Dear Miss _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,

I am very pleased to inform you that with reference to your profile sent to us a few days back and the subsequent meetings and the discussions conducted at the near by garden on 25 of March 2007 at 1400 Hrs. , it is hereby informed that you are selected and offered with the designation junior girl friend ( trainee ) in our esteemed organization " My Heart " with the agreed remuneration details as described at the last section of the mail text.

You are requested to join duty on or before 01.04.2007 at 7 pm at Pizza Hut.

As discussed earlier and agreed upon by both the sides it is here by confirmed that any notice period due paid to your previous boyfriend or deducted from your assets / Gifts while returning from your previous boy friend will be reimbursed by our organization " My Heart " on submission of necessary documents / Proofs . Items like Love letters / flowers / buckets / rings of gold of or above 24 carrots only / Gift pack with cover on which date and rate mentioned / restaurant bills / Disco or movie tickets / Evidences of Ice cream enjoyed together will be strictly debarred off as per the reimbursement policies and guidelines set by " My Heart ".

As per the company guidelines Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six months during which your importance to my heart will be measured . The Parameters set for measurement are your performance level , Quality and duration of love , Punctuality during datings , cost of gifts /quality , Uniform during romance / Manners and etiquette at the time when I will be late during datings, maintenance of distance from other handsome guys during our affair.

On successful completion of probation for a period of six months and depending on your Performance Appraisal ratings and compatibility, you will be offered with permanent Employment in " My Heart " and you will be projected on job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion form lover to spouse. The training Schedule includes several sittings on

" How to be a better girlfriend "

" tricks and techniques of Success in Love "

" How to find out nukes and disadvantages of a Boy friend and Ignore them "
( Indigenously designed and developed )

Few crash courses on " how to deal effectively with other girls related to your boy Friend " and " Smart ways of facing situations like Struggle for Existence and Survival of the Fittest techniques with your Boyfriends "

The expenses incurred for coffee / Movie / Ice cream and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later on based upon your performance, I might take up a larger share a part of the expenses. However I am broad minded enough to be taken care of, on your expenses account

Here by it is to request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled with / with out further notice and I shall be considering someone else with similar skill set and experience level for the same vacancy . I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister / Friend / Previous Boy Friend's Previous Girl Friend / All of the above , if you do not decide to take up this offer . Upon successful selection of any Girls referred by you , you will be Compensated with price worth of one month Expenditure to be spent on that girl as my new girl friend .

Thanking you in anticipation,

Your sincerely,

 

 

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