Dear Miss [Name],

I am very pleased to inform you that with reference to your profile sent to us a few days back, and the subsequent meetings and discussions conducted at the nearby garden, it is hereby informed that you are selected and offered the designation of "Junior Girlfriend (Trainee)" in our esteemed organization "My Heart".

You are requested to join duty immediately at Pizza Hut.

As discussed earlier and agreed upon by both sides, it is hereby confirmed that any notice period pay due to your previous boyfriend, or deductions from your assets/gifts while returning from your previous relationship, will NOT be reimbursed by our organization.

Items like old love letters, flowers, buckets, gold rings (below 24 carats), and restaurant bills from previous "projects" are strictly debarred as per the policy guidelines set by "My Heart".

Probation Period:
As per company guidelines, our love affair will be on probation for a period of six months. During this time, your importance to my heart will be measured against the following Key Performance Indicators (KPIs):

• Quality and duration of love.
• Punctuality during datings.
• Cost & quality of gifts exchanged.
• Etiquette displayed when I am late for dates.
• Maintenance of appropriate distance from other handsome guys.

On successful completion of probation, and depending on your Performance Appraisal ratings, you may be offered Permanent Employment in "My Heart". This track leads to potential promotion from "Lover" to "Spouse".

Training Schedule:
You will undergo mandatory training sessions on:

• "How to be a better girlfriend"
• "Tricks and techniques of Success in Love"
• "How to identify and ignore my flaws" (Indigenously designed module)
• "Smart ways of facing Survival of the Fittest scenarios with my friends"

Remuneration & Expenses:
Expenses incurred for Coffee, Movies, and Ice Cream will initially be shared 50/50. Later, based on performance, I may consider taking up a larger share. However, I am broad-minded enough to be taken care of on your expense account if you insist.

Please sign and return the duplicate copy of this letter within 7 days. Failing this, the offer will be cancelled without further notice, and I shall consider other candidates with similar skill sets from my database.

Referral Bonus:
If you do not accept this offer, I would appreciate if you could forward this letter to your sister or friend. Upon successful selection of a referral, you will be compensated with one month's worth of ice cream expenditure.